Humor

Diskusjon om alt innen kunst og kultur, slik som litteratur, teater, film, musikk og dataspill.

Re: Humor

Innlegg jonny 02 Mar 2013, 11:00

jonny
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Vegard Martinsen 07 Mar 2013, 08:27

GRIEVING CELEBRITIES STRUGGLE TO FIND REPLACEMENT DICTATOR
Written by Guy Caballero
Wednesday, 06 March 2013

http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/5349/87/


(AP) The formal announcement yesterday (3/05) by the Venezuelan government that Hugo Chavez has died sent shockwaves through the ranks of the Hollywood elite, who had long been the Venezuelan leader's staunchest supporters. Throughout the day, celebrities struggled to cope with the devastating loss.

"Sean is devastated, completely inconsolable," Sean Penn's publicist Amy Glattensturmer told the AP. "He's been in his bedroom all day. He won't eat, he won't berate his staff, he won't punch women, he wouldn't even come outside to look at the brand new Ferrari Enzo the studio sent him as incentive to read a script. He realizes that a true champion of the working class has died today, and, as one himself, Sean has taken the hit very hard."

"The relationship between celebrities and their dictators is a very close one," PR guru Benjamin Shaltzberg told the AP. "Hollywood celebrities had formed a huge bond with Chavez. It will be difficult to replace."

Throughout Tuesday afternoon, cars full of mourners were seen driving up to Tim Robbins' 20,000-acre private estate, called "Proletariat Meadows," in Westchester County. Robbins, who would not speak directly to the AP, did release the following statement on Twitter: "We who struggle in the working class have lost a hero - a man of strong hand, and one of the few who truly realized what a genius I am."

Supermodel Naomi Campbell, who previously called Chavez "fearless" and a "rebel angel," was so distressed by the news of his passing that she couldn't even bring herself to throw a phone at her assistant. "At first, she was like, how can I go on as normal with Hugo gone?" Campbell's assistant Anna Smyth-Lipsky told the AP. "But then she realized that Hugo would have wanted her to push ahead, to be as fearless as he was. So she lined up the entire staff and began chucking phones at us one-by-one. We were all so proud to see her bravery in not letting this tragedy get her spirits down."

But with Chavez gone, where do these celebrities go now? "They still have Ahmadinejad, certainly," PR whiz Shaltzberg told the AP. "But he's never quite been at Chavez's level. There have always been issues."

"I love Mahmoud," Michael Moore told the AP, " but you can't get a decent plate of pork chops over there. I mean, I love whoring myself out to dictators, but without pork, where's the joy? With Hugo, you always got bacon. And you can't put a price on that."

Mike Tyson agrees. "Look, the rapin' is great over there in Iran, but I like my victims to put up a fight, Turns me on, you know? Those Vezenwaylan bitches that Hugo would give me, now THEY were feisty. I sure hope no (expletive) democracy screws that place up."

"Because of Venezuela's historically-close relationship with the U.S., Chavez was very keen on American culture. And the staff of toadies he would assign to visiting celebrities knew how to fawn," Shaltzberg adds.

"When people like Danny Glover or Oliver Stone visit a dictator, they don't just want to be wined and dined. They want to be told how great ‘Lethal Weapon 4' was, or what a crime it was that the Oscars overlooked ‘Alexander.' Sure, Ahmadinejad can take them to see the stoning of a woman or the execution of a homosexual, and that's great. But it's the little touches that matter, the sycophantism and flattery that celebrities need. And pork."

"Hugo once let me stomp the rib cage of an imprisoned journalist," Alec Baldwin told the AP in an exclusive interview. "And as I was kicking the guy, imagining he was my piggish slut of a daughter, Hugo threw a ‘30 Rock' quote at me! And we just started riffing back and forth. He knew every line, every episode. That was class, you know? The other dictators just don't have that same level. Once, when I was in Iran watching a woman get fifty lashes for mouthing off to her husband, I turned to Mahmoud and joked, ‘I bet Jack Donaghy wishes he could do that to Liz Lemon,' and he just stared at me, like I was speaking a foreign language. Amazing...not a clue."

"This really could be Kim Jong-un's moment," Shaltzberg told the AP. "It's ironic that Chavez's passing comes so close after Dennis Rodman's triumphal visit to North Korea. There's a void that's been created by Chavez's passing, one that Kim can fill. Sure, there's Castro, but when the beloved family dog dies, you don't rush out to buy an even older one. You get a puppy. Kim could really be the next member of the celebrity/dictator mutual admiration society.

"But, there are obstacles, of course. Language, especially. Many Venezuelans are English-fluent, and understand the subtleties of the language. Not so in North Korea, where, since the country's creation, English has either been banned or discouraged among the population. So, if Kim wants to make his country the new destination of choice for celebrities looking to rub shoulders with a dictatorial madman, the country's going to have to polish-up its language-skills."

Shaltzberg's point was emphasized by a full-page ad that the government of North Korea is planning to run in Wednesday's Variety, in an attempt to fill the Chavez void. The ad, shown to the AP by a source at the magazine, reveals just how far the North Koreans have to go before they can reach the level of skill with the Hollywood community that Chavez always displayed. The ad reads:

"Hey you actor douchebag. Yes you. You come here, North Korea. We treat you good. We have pork. Lots pork. Our pig not disease, our pig good. You come, you eat, go home. You leave."

We showed the ad to PR expert Shaltzberg, who immediately began packing for a trip to Pyongyang. "I gotta go where I'm needed," he told the AP.
Vegard Martinsen
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg nico 20 Mar 2013, 17:57

You can't put an "I wish" over an "It is"

- Leonard Peikoff
nico
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Be.Hag.. 23 Jun 2013, 12:57

En journalist hadde uheldigvis havnet i helvete. Overalt var det ild med en kokende kjele på, en for hver ideologi. I kjelen kokte de syndere som hadde bekjent seg til ideologien. Ved hver kjele var det en demon som stod vakt, så ingen skulle klatre ut av den.
Derimot, ved kjelen for 'kollektivisme' var det ingen demon som stod vakt. Journalisten syntes dette var merkelig, og gikk bort til Djevelen for å spørre ham om grunnen til det. -Jo, skal du høre, sa Djevelen. -Det er ikke nødvendig med en vakt der. Skulle en av de prøve å klatre ut, vil alle de andre bare dra ham ned igjen.
Be.Hag..
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Vegard Martinsen 24 Jun 2013, 06:54

Be.Hag.. skrev:En journalist hadde uheldigvis havnet i helvete. Overalt var det ild med en kokende kjele på, en for hver ideologi. I kjelen kokte de syndere som hadde bekjent seg til ideologien. Ved hver kjele var det en demon som stod vakt, så ingen skulle klatre ut av den.
Derimot, ved kjelen for 'kollektivisme' var det ingen demon som stod vakt. Journalisten syntes dette var merkelig, og gikk bort til Djevelen for å spørre ham om grunnen til det. -Jo, skal du høre, sa Djevelen. -Det er ikke nødvendig med en vakt der. Skulle en av de prøve å klatre ut, vil alle de andre bare dra ham ned igjen.


Veldig morsom og treffende.

Det finnes mange eksempler som bekrefter poenget: ett eksempel: enkelte "liberalister" i FrP og Høyre og Venstre vil heller at alle skal ha verneplikt enn at bare noen (kvinner) skal få slippe unna.
Vegard Martinsen
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Utenfra 15 Sep 2013, 00:32

Kapitalisme i praksis?

Bilde
Utenfra
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Rounin 12 Nov 2013, 20:00

Nyliberal konge
Kjell Buene betegner i Aftenposten idag sjakk som et ”umoralsk krigsspill”, der bønder ”alltid er de første som ofres på slagmarken”, som dyttes på barn ”helt ned i barneskolealder”.

For Buene er det bare et ”paradoks” at så mange mennesker er ”mot krigsspill på data, men samtidig synes at sjakk er helt OK.” Minervas poeng er ikke å kverulere – vi skjønner hva Buene mener med den litt uheldige setningen. Men vi er redd for at han med denne type formuleringer behandler individets knefall for sjakkindustrien som et rent privatmoralsk problem, snarere enn et kollektivt diskursivt-strukturelt problem som vi må løse sammen som politisk samfunn; og vi er redd for at han begrenser kritikken av sjakkdiskursen til å gjelde bare den eksplisitte symbolske volden i spillet, og ikke den strukturelle symbolske volden som etter vår mening er kanskje vel så farlig.

...
Brukerens avatar
Rounin
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Ultima_Thule 08 Des 2013, 04:21

http://capitalismmagazine.com/2013/12/government-santa-claus/

The Government Against Santa Claus

The US Justice Department announced today that it will file an antitrust suit against Santa Claus. “He’s got a monopoly on delivering presents on Christmas Eve,” said Justice Department spokesperson Ben Scrudge. “Plus he’s giving those presents away for free. Who can compete with that?”

Meanwhile, labor union leaders are looking into unionizing Santa’s elves. “Those poor little elves haven’t had a raise in two hundred years,” said AFL-CIO spokesperson Carl Marks. “We’re working closely with the Labor Department to see that something is done.”

At the same time, advocates for Elves Rights are lobbying Congress for legislation forcing Santa to grant retirement benefits to the elves. “Some of those elves have been working for Santa for five hundred years. Enough is enough!” said Elf advocate Smurf Smidgin, leader of the Occupy North Pole movement.

In a related story, the FAA [det amerikanske luftfartstilsynet] is investigating Santa’s sleigh and is threatening to ground him. “He has no pilot’s license as far as we can tell,” said FAA spokesperson Sam Luddite. “Plus, that sleigh is definitely an experimental aircraft.”

The National Security Agency is also looking at Santa’s sleigh. “That thing travels faster than the speed of light, plus he’s got some kind of magic bag that holds 500 million presents. We regard both the sleigh and the bag––in fact, Santa’s whole operation––as potential threats to national security,’ said an anonymous spokesperson for the NSA.

The NSA would not comment on rumors that they are monitoring children’s letters to Santa. However, anonymous sources commented off the record, “Santa isn’t the only one who knows whether you’ve been naughty or nice.”

On another front, the EPA [tilsvarer norske Klif] is requesting that Santa file an environmental impact statement. “He’s up there polluting a pristine environment and contributing to global warming. That’s got to be stopped,” said EPA spokesperson Misty Marsh.

When asked if Santa’s property rights would be respected, Ms. Marsh commented, “Santa didn’t build the North Pole.”

Meanwhile, professor of philosophy Dr. Filbert Nitpicker, commenting in a radio interview, said, “I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Santa Claus doesn’t really exist, he’s a figment of people’s imaginations—hey, wait a second, who put this lump of coal in my sock?”
Ultima_Thule
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Ultima_Thule 08 Des 2013, 04:25

http://reason.com/blog/2013/12/03/norad-adds-santas-fighter-jet-escort-to

NORAD Adds Santa’s Fighter Jet Escort to Tracking Animation

NORAD, the US (and Canadian) air defense command for North America, has been “tracking” Santa Claus since the 1950s, and this year, for the first time, it’s going to include fighter jets in the animation video (still pictured right) it produces of Santa’s flight. The move has some children’s advocates claiming the military is trying to covertly advertise to children through the Santa program. Via the Boston Globe:

“Children associate Santa with gifts and fun and everything else that is positive about Christmas,” said Allen Kanner, a California child and family psychologist and cofounder of the Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood. “They are associating this with the military in children’s minds. It is completely out of line.”

…Some worry that American youth are already sufficiently indoctrinated by the military — and wonder why the Department of Defense would deem it necessary to target little kids who still believe in Santa Claus.

“I think people are quite aware of the military’s true mission,” said Amy Hagopian, a professor of public health at the University of Washington, who has written extensively about military recruiting of youngsters. “If the military wants to keep its ranks stocked, it needs to appeal to children. The military knows it can’t appeal to adults to volunteer. It is like the ad industry.’’
Though the inclusion of fighter jets in the actual animation of Santa Calus is new, a spokesperson pointed out to Reuters that NORAD’s Santa-related activities have linked fighter jets to the imaginary character’s make-believe flights since the 60s. The Santa tracking program began in 1955, when a Sears ad accidentally listed NORAD’s predecessor’s phone number in a campaign to call Santa, and is reportedly funded entirely through corporate sponsorships, at no taxpayer expense.

You can watch a NORAD video explaining the program here and the video featuring the fighter jets below:

Ultima_Thule
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Erik 04 Jan 2014, 18:32

Jeg var litt usikker på hvilken tråd som var adekvat for nedenstående tekst.
Det er ikke sikkert at alle fatter ironien siden innholdet sammenfaller med det statsdirektivmønster man er kjent med allerede fra barndommen.


Office of the Reproducer-General

For Immediate Release - January 1, 2015

Bulletin: Sex and Economics — A Modest Proposal


Fellow citizens: Our nation’s sex life is in peril.


Surveys show widespread sexual discontent. Market failure is everywhere. Many males complain of not getting enough sex and many females object to constant male looks and advances. Other males are dissatisfied with the options available in their local area and other females are upset at not having attracted male attention. Yet while supply and demand are out of equilibrium and the current system of laissez-faire is not producing acceptable measures of sexual happiness and prosperity — we continue to hear that the invisible hand will solve all of our problems.

Consider also the wastefulness of our system of sexual anarchy. How much economically valuable time is spent on the prowl? How many meals eaten by dating couples at pretentious restaurants — only to lead nowhere? All of those flowers and chocolates and cards — are they truly necessary? Much of the system seems designed to enrich the Restaurant Industry and the Hallmark Corporation at the expense of the Rest of Us. And consider the constant advertising of enticing but mostly useless or distasteful products and services.

Further: Many individuals do not know where to go to find partners or lack the initiative and resources to partake. Would a nudge in the right direction from expert leadership not be helpful to many?

And sex is so unfair. Some get much more than others. They monopolize the dating scene or have guaranteed spousal access while others get fewer and less appetizing partners or nothing at all. Some redistribution seems morally imperative.

And so messy. So many fights. Such jealousy and envy and destructive competition. So much hostility, seething anger, passive-aggressiveness, and hurt feelings. Externalities impose large costs on the rest of society — we hear a constant chorus of pain from our neighbors, our co-workers, our friends and family members. And that is not even to mention the variety of sexually-transmitted diseases that plague our social health. We need a system of controls to internalize and ameliorate these social costs or a system of compensation. Common sense and justice demand it.

Further: Consider all of the dishonesty and cheating. “He said he would call.” “Her internet ad said she was tall.” “He said he was bowling with the guys at the mall.” We need stricter regulation of negotiations, commitments, and contracts.

Birth control is improperly applied. Reproductive rates are erratic. Sometimes our population is too large, and sometimes it is too small. How can we plan for the future when Junior’s coming into existence is often the result of Billy and Maggie’s being drunk and closing down the bar on Saturday night? And how likely is Junior to receive the proper care he needs to develop into a useful citizen?

OFFICE OF THE REPRODUCER-GENERAL STATE OF ILLINOIS
Office of the Reproducer-General
For Immediate Release
January 1, 2015

We must also consider foreign policy. Sexual tourism is booming. Meanwhile, many individuals import their sexual partners. Yet while commerce with foreigners is flourishing, many potential domestic partners are forced into abstinence. The outsourcing of sexual satisfaction is a net social drain, and the importing of enticing sex agents causes unfair competition with local service providers. At a minimum, we should consider a system of import-export restrictions, tariffs, and perhaps subsidies in the public interest.
We call ours a system of “freedom,” but how can people be free when they are in the grip of sexual drives they cannot control or have not the wherewithal to satisfy in a healthy and socially harmonious manner?

To summarize. Our current system of individual so-called freedom is plagued by:
* Inequalities and monopolies.
* A mis-allocation of resources and wastefulness.
* Import-export imbalances.
* The inability of our less-endowed citizens to meet their needs.
* The improper use of our resources by the irresponsible.
* Many externalities.
* General dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

We all know the importance of sexuality to our great society. Sex is both a need and a right. The future of our entire way of life literally depends on the sexual health of our nation.

Consequently, I propose upgrading the Office of the Reproducer-General to cabinet-level status. We need a system of expert guidance for our citizens in their sexual lives. Help for those who cannot help themselves. An end to monopolies and sexual dog-eat-dog competition. A reallocation of reproductive resources in a socially just manner. A benevolent nudge for those who sexual appetites are not aligned with the science of true sexual health and happiness.
And do not neglect to vote for me again in the referendum next election.

This announcement is sponsored by the O.R.G. Please direct all inquiries to the Office of the Reproducer-General, Assistant for Sexual Matters.
Respectfully transcribed and submitted by Stephen Hicks, Recorder of the Office of the Reproducer-General

http://www.stephenhicks.org/FORG

http://www.stephenhicks.org/
Erik
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Ultima_Thule 14 Jan 2014, 07:41

Global uppvärmning ingen myt

En liten kul historia så här på morgonen. Tydligen drabbades sajten Campingglädje av kraftig uppvärmning alldeles nyligen.

Bilde

Kvarnsö Camp & Vandrarhem rapporterades hålla 68 grader, vilket kan anses vara tämligen rekordartat. Väderdata levererades av normalt sett pålitliga yr.no. Efter lite forskning visade sig dock att campingens höjd över havet av någon anledning varit inställd på -9999 m.

Idag ser Campinggjädje ut som vanligt och varmast just nu är Hyppelns gästhamn med 9 grader.

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2011/04/27/global-uppvarmning-ingen-myt/ (med hyperlenker)


Vad forskare egentligen menar…

Fick detta av en bloggläsare och vill gärna dela med mig. :)

Många människor tycker ibland att det kan vara svårt att diskutera med forskare, eftersom man inte förstår vad de säger. Här kommer en liten ordbok, som översätter vad forskarna egentligen menar:

”Det har länge varit känt att…” = Jag orkade inte slå upp några källor…

”Tre av proven valdes ut för närmare undersökning” = De andra sju passade inte in på min hypotes.

”Enligt min erfarenhet…” = En gång så …

”I fall efter fall…” = Två gånger …

”Det anses att…” = Jag tror…

”Det anses generellt att…” = Jag och min kompis kollega tror…

”En rimlig statistisk avvikelse…” = Här kan jag inte förklara vad som gick snett…

”Många studier återstår att göra innan vi till fullo kan förstå…” = Jag har ingen aning om någonting just nu…

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2011/02/03/vad-forskare-egentligen-menar/


Repent all ye evil who email too much

Bilde

Brukar du skicka många e-postmeddelanden? Bryr du dig om dina barns och barnbarns framtid? Ja, då kanske du ska fundera en extra gång nästa gång du ska klicka på Skicka. På The Guardians Green Living-blogg upplyses vi nämligen om det koldioxidavtryck som vårt e-postande genererar.

”[A] typical year of incoming mail for a business user – including sending, filtering and reading – creates a carbon footprint of around 135kg. That’s over 1% of of a relatively green 10-tonne lifestyle and equivalent to driving 200 miles in an average car.”

Författarens lösning är (gissa tre gånger) en skatt på e-post. Lyckligtvis inser han själv att förslaget troligen skulle vara omöjligt att genomföra.

Men bara tanken… att räkna ut koldioxidavtrycket för ett e-postmeddelande… inte undra på att antalet skeptiker i världen bara växer.

PS Om ovanstående inte är illa nog, kan du även läsa om hur stora koldioxidutsläpp du ger upphov till när du cyklar, beroende på vad du äter. Jag tror att jag går och lägger mig nu.

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2010/10/26/repent-all-ye-evil-who-email-too-much/ (med hyperlenker)


Det var bättre förr :)

En bild från den gamla goda tiden då koldioxid var något miljövänligt. (Tack, Ulf!)

Bilde

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2010/06/22/det-var-battre-forr/


IPCC’s pedagogiska problem i ett nötskal

Bilde

Fick i morse denna sedelärande historia via mail. Ja, ifrågasätt inte auktoriteter – respektera dem ;-)

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2010/02/23/ipccs-pedagogiska-problem-i-ett-notskal/


Mänsklig påverkan på klimatet

Bilde

Från den i normaltillståndet högst bisarre Danske tecknaren Wulffmorgenthaler (ni hittar honom bl.a. på Aftonbladets Nöjesliv-webbsida – ca 100 bilder i ett spel). Parental discretion advised

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2010/02/08/mansklig-paverkan-pa-klimatet/


Bilde

Nytt i periodiska systemet

Från Fred G kommer denna lilla pärla.

***

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

***

En god helg önskar Maggie

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2009/12/12/nytt-i-periodiska-systemet/


Bilde

Bilde

Bilde

Rädda klimatet med tankekraft

Just när ni trodde att ni sett allt kommer här en liten webbsajt som handlar om att hela Jorden med hjälp av tankekraft.

”Är du bekymrad över klimatförändringar med översvämningar, stormar och smältande isberg?”, frågar man på sajten. ”Vill du personligen göra en insats, en insats där ditt engagemang verkligen betyder något och kan göra en avgörande skillnad?”

Och nu handlar det inte om att byta glödlampor, skrota bilen eller duscha kallt. Nej, i projektet ”Hjälp Jorden” arbetar med med alternativa metoder – healing och tankens kraft.

”För att kraftigt öka hjälpen till Moder Jord vill Hjälp Jorden starta och samordna många olika alternativa jordläkningsaktiviteter”, heter det på webbsajten.
Slappna av och be att om möjligt få kontakt med något naturväsen som kan hjälpa dig med energier för det område du ska skicka till eller generellt ge dig naturvänlig healingenergi/frekvens. (…) Ju mer ni kan kommunicera med naturväsen som hjälper till och få info om vad du ska skicka osv, desto bättre effekt! Men vi kan ALLA göra stor nytta! Tillsammans kan vi göra underverk!

Ja, jag säger då det… så lite vi vet…

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2009/08/28/radda-klimatet-med-tankekraft/ (med hyperlenke)


Bilde

Är Ernie klimatskeptiker? :)
Med denna lilla serie vill jag önska er en riktigt skön helg! Njut av värmen så länge den varar.
Bilde
Gå til http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2009/07/03/ar-ernie-klimatskeptiker/ for å se hele stripen.

Vitlök får kor att rapa mindre

Ännu ett lysande förslag har sett dagens ljus. På Sierra Clubs webbplats hittar vi nyheten om att kor som utfodras med vitlök producerar mindre metan. Under försöken har man lyckats reducera metanrapningarna med 15 procent och forskarna anser att det borde vara möjligt att till och med halvera utsläppen. Det är dock ännu inte känt om vitlöksdieten märks i slutprodukten, dvs. mjölken och köttet. Vitlöksmarinerad biff i alla ära, men vem vill dricka mjölk som smakar vitlök?

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2009/06/25/vitlok-far-kor-att-rapa-mindre/ (med hyperlenke)


Aftonbladet om EU och klimatet (varning för ironi)

En härlig liten krönika av Johanna Melén väntar dem som följer denna länk. Johanna M berättar att om några veckor kommer Maldivernas president till Sverige för att fråga vad vi tänker göra för att rädda hans land och hela världen undan katastrofen. Ja, ni vet, Maldiverna är ju på väg att översvämmas. Om 100 år ligger alla öarna under vatten. Högsta punkten i landet ligger ju bara sju meter över havet. Och sju meter på 100 år är väl fullt rimligt?Vi har ju hört att havsnivån höjs i en allt snabbare takt.
”Frågar Maldivernas president mig vad jag som rik svensk tänker göra för att undvika katastrofen blir jag tvungen att svara något i stil med: Jag kommer inte att göra så mycket alls, faktiskt”, skriver Johanna Melén. ”Eller jo, lite. Får jag råd att köpa en bil väljer jag nog en miljövänlig. Det blir ju billigare.”

(Fast för att Johanna ska kunna köpa en bil måste bilen först tillverkas, tillverkning kräver energi, ergo ökar CO2. Är det verkligen en bra idé? Fortsätt cykla, Johanna. Isbjörnar kan inte cykla, men du kan.)
”Genom det så kallade ekodesigndirektivet kommer jag och alla andra EU-invånare inom de närmaste åren att tvingas byta ut våra gamla vanliga glödlampor mot lågenergilampor”, fortsätter Johanna M.

(Ja, just det, för kvicksilver är numera klart mindre giftigt än CO2.)
”Köper jag en ny tv, en disk- eller tvättmaskin kommer dessa i framtiden dra mindre energi jämfört med tidigare, allt tack vare ekodesigndirektivet.”

(Nej, nej, Johanna, du har missförstått detta helt. Vi konsumerar för mycket redan . Vill du planetens bästa så skippa alla nya prylar. Gå på bio, eller teater. Idag är det upplevelser som gäller.)

Fast Johanna vet att även om hon gör allt det där som står ovan hjälper det inte mycket. Det har Naturskyddsföreningen sagt. ”Mycket mer måste till för att temperaturen på jorden inte ska fortsätta stiga och Maldiverna om 100 år ligga under vatten.”
”Och med tanke på att jag som genomsnittlig svensk släpper ut runt 5,6 ton koldioxid per år medan en genomsnittlig maldivier står för runt 2,4 ton varje år vore det väl inte mer än rätt”, avslutar Johanna.

(Hur var det nu med den där bilen och teven och kylskåpet?)

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2009/05/28/aftonbladet-om-eu-och-klimatet-varning-for-ironi/ (med hyperlenke)


Låt oss bedja

Peter S tipsar om dagens SVT2-tablå. En genomgång av katastrofläget avslutas lämpligt nog med… en gudstjänst.

Bilde

http://www.klimatupplysningen.se/2009/05/25/lat-oss-bedja/


Mer klimahumor fra Klimatupplysningen.
Ultima_Thule
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Jan A. Skarstein 05 Mar 2014, 12:51

Bilde
Bilde
Jan A. Skarstein
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg Erik 12 Apr 2014, 14:16

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Erik
 
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Re: Humor

Innlegg nico 15 Aug 2014, 14:01

Siste fra forskningsfronten :lol: :lol: :lol:
http://www.forskning.no/artikler/2014/august/399378

Fisk er styrt av følelser

Fisk handler ut ifra sine emosjoner. Det gjør fiskebestanden mer robust for miljøendringer, enn om de hadde tatt rasjonelle valg, viser ny forskning.

Bilde

Alle dyr handler emosjonelt.

Med andre ord lar vi en impulsiv fysiologisk respons på noe vi ser eller opplever, styre handlingen vår istedenfor å la fornuften bestemme.

Man skulle kanskje tro dette ville svekke overlevelsesevnen, men det gjør det ikke – i alle fall ikke for fisk.

– Det gjør heller bestandene bedre rustet til å videreutvikle seg når miljøforholdene tilsier det, sier Jarl Giske, professor ved Institutt for biologi, UiB
You can't put an "I wish" over an "It is"

- Leonard Peikoff
nico
 
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Bosted: Oslo

Re: Humor

Innlegg Erik 27 Sep 2014, 19:25

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Erik
 
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