Hvorfor høytider er så stressende for så mange

Diskusjon om psykologi, epistemologi og metafysikk (fri vilje, begrepsdannelse, o.l.).

Hvorfor høytider er så stressende for så mange

Innlegg Panther 23 Nov 2011, 17:32

http://www.capitalismmagazine.com/culture/living/6664-why-the-holidays-are-so-stressful-for-so-many.html

Why the Holidays Are So Stressful For So Many
19 November 2011 Michael Hurd

The problem with holidays as we know them, especially holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, is that they stir up the unhappiness of people who are already unhappy in the first place.

"The holidays are coming. It's a time of complete emotional stress."

To say this is considered a self-evident truth. But why is it true?

I maintain that holidays, while perfectly fine and pleasant, are not necessary for happy people. Happy people enjoy their lives all year long. Happy people actually enjoy their work, and maybe even love their work. They enjoy their personal relationships, and only take part in relationships that are enjoyable and fulfilling. Of course they want to take breaks, and it's perfectly fine to do that -- on a holiday, or not.

The problem with holidays as we know them, especially holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, is that they stir up the unhappiness of people who are already unhappy in the first place. Some unhappy people know they're unhappy, but many unhappy people don't realize they are.

Consequently, when forced at holiday time to "be happy," as if on command, it creates something of a personal crisis for them. It creates a feeling that, "I should be happy, but I'm not. Everyone else seems to be, but I'm not."

Unfortunately, holidays are also a time when unhappy people, who are also manipulative, feel less uninhibited about imposing their unhappiness on others. In many families, there's an unwritten (or even explicit) rule that, "It's holiday time. You have to be happy." Now look at this unwritten rule from the perspective of someone who isn't happy, and who wants to make others as unhappy as possible. To such a person, holidays are an opportunity. "Everybody has to be nice. So they'll put up with whatever I impose on them." This might not be what the manipulative person says to him- or herself, but this is the overall, subconscious motive if nothing else. This motivation sounds unlikely or even shocking to someone who doesn't want to impose unpleasantness on others. But a segment of the population is like this, and holiday time represents a golden opportunity for these petty little psychological tyrants, at least one of whom is in just about every family.
Ken-G. Johansen.
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